Coming home last night, seeing lots of excited and dressed up children parading up and down our street, knocking on the doors of houses that have been dressed for the occasion, all the carved and lit up pumpkins, happy faces and fits of giggles, made me all very sad. You see, I never really got to experience this sort of Halloween. When we were younger, we would dress up and parade around the streets, but it was always dark and there were no carved pumpkins to greet us at strangers doorways. The only real Halloween trick or treating I remember was the one where Belinda thought it would be a good idea to leave me on the corner of our street in Mossburn, whilst she went and tried to track down Amanda (who was apparently being all cool hanging out at the basketball courts at the school lol). Yes, Belinda. I still remember, I won't ever forget it, I may even go find a bed to cry under, because obviously you didn't love me (nobody does! omg! waaaaaaaaaaah)lol. Thinking of times where my siblings have abandoned me, or the times where we've fought over stupid things, strangely, just makes me love them and my parents more.
So here it is, the things I admit to:
∙ Yes, I did put talcum powder in your alarm clocks, only because I didn't get one myself (not that I needed on at 4 or 5)
∙ Yes, I did smash your pretty porcelain doll on the stone outside our house, only because you annoyed me by not playing with me
∙ Yes I did smear cream perfume on your sheets, pillows and clothes, but only because I wanted it to smell nice for you. But then when you came home and you weren't pleased, I denied all acknowledgement of said cream perfume or even being in your room, afterall, you are a redhead and I, more than anyone else, understand your rage.
∙ Yes I did break the metre rule and hide it behind the TV. It wasn't Belinda afterall, she was only present and a viable patsy.
∙ Belinda didn't wipe her chocolate ice cream covered face on the white curtains either, that was me.
∙ It was probably me that convinced Belinda we should take the kittens out of the cupboard. We only wanted to play with them!
∙ I still like the colours the magnet made on the TV.
∙ Whenever you used to make me angry, I would use blue milk in your coffee instead of green, and then wait to see if you could tell the difference
∙ You would have done better to measure the pieces of baking, than count them, since I always used to just slice pieces off those pieces instead of just stealing a whole one.
∙ Amanda was the one to get in trouble for laughing at your new false teeth, but I thought they were pretty hilarious too. I hope even you can see that now lol.
∙ Belinda, it was me that used most of your expensive L'Oreal Colour Shampoo & Conditioner, not Kim, as you had thought lol. It made my hair feel nice lol.
∙ John, I only annoyed you when I was younger, because I wanted you to like me, which just ended up pissing you off more. Can you think of someone else in the family that unintentionally baits you as much as I used to? I can.
∙ It was me that originally stole your solid gold tapes, but I no longer have them nor know who does.
You all shaped the way I am, therefore every bad thing I've ever done, you can only blame yourselves for lol. Want revenge? Come get me then :P~~
And now for some nice things:
John - I hope I'll get to know you better once I get home and break the "little girl" view you seemed to have of me. Oh, and don't get rid of your handlebar side burns, they're awesome.Amanda - I miss you more than I thought I would, which is alot. Having Jessie and Josh was the best thing you've ever done, not only because you've given our family some awesome devil spawn, but because you became the person I'm proud to call my sister today. You may not think much of your achievements, but I can name several things I think are well worth noting.
Belinda - I'm glad you're finally learning to love yourself and realise that you're capable of being loved. I hope you guys come home soon. NZ won't be the same without you.
Mum - Being away has taught me the importance of family, and you being the head of that family, has taught me the importance of you. I'm glad that you've spent the last few years chilling the fuck out, not only for our sanity, but your own. I love you. And I'm sorry for laughing at you when you slipped over and making you throw a plate of sausages at me lol. Thank you for the amazing choices you've made, the pain you've went through for us kids, and for doing all you can to make our lives just that little bit better. I hope Amanda is willing to accept that there is some of you in her, making you both amazing mothers.
Kim - I miss your big bald shiny head. I was fond of Bob the first time I met him, because he had a big crazy moustache and I couldn't really understand wtf he was talking about, with that crazy foreign accent. Then he helped me draw the silly pictures of the peoples legs in the toilets at Watties. That sealed the deal for me. I know that it took the others a while to get used to you, but you were always cool in my books. Especially after buying me that totally sweet doll set our first Christmas with you. Your presence in our family has made a world of difference to ALL of us.
Dad - To simply put it, I miss you. Get a fucken computer.