I was supposed to be born in Lumsden, but due to me being difficult (it seems it started at birth), I was born in Invercargill instead. I wish I had been born in Lumsden, like my other siblings. Every time someone mentions Invercargill, I feel ashamed, as if dirty, even if they don't know I was born there. Then there are those that know I was, and each time Invercargill is mentioned or they mention it, I get the glance. Yes, the glance *sighs* A strange wish, but man I wish I was born in Lumsden. But we didn't live in Lumsden. We lived in Mossburn. In 2001, Mossburn had a population of 240, consisting of more males than females (so they do know whats good for them). When we lived there, the population would've been slightly larger, with the presence of our family. I'm sure even now my Dad could name every single person in Mossburn and tell you how he was someway related to them (we're not talking about inbreeding here people). Do I feel ashamed of coming from a small town like this?
Yes. Even more so than being born in Invercargill. Mossburn is scary, and the only good thing that can come out of going to Mossburn, is leaving it without anybody recognising you as "one of the Healy girls", which is strange thing, because I didn't think I had lived there long enough to be defined by a community gender, but obviously I had. The hope of being unknown and just another passer-by was swiftly destroyed when being eyed by the locals and spoken to as if I had known them for my entire life (I don't know who the hell these people were) I guess may be they recognised my big Healy cheeks and red hair. Neither of which are hard to disguise, damn it all.There are other problems with this. You see, I lived in Mossburn for 5 years, and it seems those years have had a distinctive influence on my accent. Belinda has the same accent, but she was there for a total of 11 years, which makes it understandable as to why she would still have, but why do I? Is it Belinda's fault? Was I that impressionable as a child that she kept my accent going? Can I really blame it on her? lol
What am I saying? I can blame Belinda for anything I like since shes my older sister. Excellent! lol
But no matter how much I blame and accuse Belinda for RUINING MY LIFE (lol) I don't think I'll ever really be able to get rid of my accent. My accent that I'm sure is even more confusing now, when I return home with 2+ years worth of English influence and 1 year of Canadian.
When in Christchurch, I got laughed at because my accent was different than the regular one-eyed Cantabrian. When down south, I confused people because I had a whiff of their accent, but after living in Canterbury for so long, I had picked up some of their accent! Then while in England, I constantly had problems. This wasn't just because of my strange R rolling ways, this was because I said things differently, like most expats. I actually told a guy in the post office one day to go fuck himself, because he had thought it was sooo funny the way I had said "pen". Yeah I know it sounds different to the English (they prefer to pronounce it as "Paaaen"), but it doesn't give anybody the right to laugh at me because of it. I wasn't even talking to him, the rude cunt!And in Canada, there are many words that people can't comprehend. The Americans understood me better than the Canadians! I can barely order a god damn pizza without being misunderstood (Seventh. Stevens? SEVENTH. Stevenson? S.E.V.E.N.T.H!!) I can't use any of Fido's automated services because the stupid woman can't understand me and then for some reason either switches the language to French (meaning that because she can't understand my english, that I must be speaking French lol) or to an operator, who gets all confused as to why I've come through to them to just top up my account (It's not my fault!!).
So where do I stand, man? Everywhere I go I get misunderstood or laughed at because I have the slightest twinge, its not even a major accent difference! I don't understand! GOD, I hate people sometimes!