So I tried to cut the tip of my left index finger off last night with a ginsu knife. I failed, of course, only succeeding at slicing the side of it, and leaving behind a large piece of separated skin. Needless to say it looks very disgusting and purple. I would've included a picture but our camera just didn't do it justice, as you all should be pleased to hear. So now I have a finger, in pain and out of action (I can't even use it to type) and why?Because of an onion.
Every time I cut an onion, without a fail, I end up cutting myself. It has to do with the fact that each time I cut one, I cut it a different way to see which way is the best way to cut it without it making me cry (which it ends up doing anyway when I cut myself) I thought I had mastered it last night until I got sliced, ran yelping from the kitchen and winced in pain as the cold water in the bathroom hit my poor, blood spurting finger (I had to change my band-aid 3 times before it stopped). This only helped the still connected skin momentarily detach from my finger and cause more pain. It also aided the stupid band-aids by not letting them stick to my finger.
I wasn't pleased. So, today, among other things, I have made it my mission to learn (via the web, of course) how to cut an onion without crying and without slicing parts of my finger off.
Turns out, there are a few different ways to cut an onion without crying;
- Levitate the onion above your head and cut it with mind rays (so there IS another use for my mind rays, gee, I thought I could only use them to fry peoples braaaains!)
- Cut the onion under water (erm, perhaps with difficulty?)
- Put them in the freezer or the even keep them in the refrigerator before cutting them (this seems like far too much planning for me lol)
- Hold a lit match or a slice of lemon with your teeth whilst cutting (interesting..)
- Remove the "cone" or the "core" from the bottom of the onion (and thus destroying the structure of the onion, making it even more difficult and treacherous to cut lol)
- Chew gum whilst chopping (I hate gum)
There were also some other handy suggestions like don't be such a fucken baby, don't eat onions or have sex with a virgin whilst cutting the onion, none of which, really appeal to me.
My solution? Get Bjorn to cut the onions from now on.
Unrelated PS: Bjorn got me those super cute shoes from the last post. He rocks my socks :)