For those who know me, know that I don't go down without a fight. For those of you that believe in stereotypes, I'm a redhead under the sign of Aries, so I'm war driven. I don't believe that standing back and letting someone walk all over you is the way to go. I don't believe standing by and watching someone else be walked all over is the way to go either, if I'm going to make that point.
So when I say that I'm a bit of a pacifist, it may come as a shock to some, if not all of you.
A pacifist.
Yes, a pacifist.
Are you for real?
Yes, completely.
Expand.
Okay, so I guess I should explain.
When I was younger, say when I was 17/18, all of my arguments were black and white, even though I thought I was sensible, and thought I truly understood the rule of shades of grey. I thought I grasped this, and lived my life by the ideal that not everything is as it seems.
But it seems I was a douche, and I douched myself. Totally. I understood what it meant, but I sure as hell didn't get how to live my life by it.
How have I come to learn this ever important lesson? My learning came in the form of age, of experience, of being the humble apprentice to someone obviously more skilled and knowledgeable at life than me (this can come in the form of anybody - even someone younger than you). I have taken my cue from many people, in positive and in negative. Each and every person has something they can teach you, it's foolish to think otherwise.
God, I think back to all the griping and moaning and fighting about absolute rubbish and I cringe. I still whine, sure. I still bitch and moan, but I'm sure as hell not one of these people that like to rile others up and argue just for the sake of it. That's not my style these days, even though it used to be.
I had this persona, this idea that I was someone great. I was intelligent, and witty. I thought outside the box, and laughed, and mocked all others that dared challenge me, yes me, the wonderful, great 17 year old.
Oh lol.
And what have I learnt now, at 24? That I still have my smarts, I am not all knowing, plenty of people are more intelligent than me, and I am more than willing to listen to them. I don't even have the urge to be the greatest/smartest person in the world (or at least in my world). I have learnt that at 24 all I need is a place, a place in the world, and that place doesn't need to be at the top, barrelling down, mocking people.
I am not superior.
And I am perfectly okay with this.
So when I see blogs and hear rants from young people (yes, young people! lol) I sit back and wait, hoping that one day maybe they'll go through the same transition I went through (not that I noticed it). Non-judging, and honestly hoping that their transition will be smooth. That they'll get off their high-horse and realise that tho they think they're open minded, tho they think they're clever, tho they think they have all bases covered, there is so much more to the world than knowing everything.
I am not superior to these youngins, I just see what can be achieved and hope that they see it before they turn into a bitter old griper than thinks they're right about everything - because sometimes it's nice to be wrong.
You need to open yourself up to the idea that you don't know everything, and that that is okay. You learn more from the people around you if you just accept that someone, anyone, even someone you think is a complete dipshit, may know more.
I would hate to be that smug, dumbass 17 year old again. I'm definitely superior to the 17 year old me.
How do you compare to the 17 year old you?