Okay, I only really believe the last one, because quite frankly, it's true. In the past 6 years, I've downsized, up-sized, downsized, up-sized and then finally remained at my up-sized position, so surely now it's time to downsize again, and hopefully this time for good. I don't believe in diets or dieting, they are a temporary solution for an idiot looking for a quick fix. I want to incorporate fun exercise into my day, like belly dancing, and hula hooping, and catching frisbees in my mouth.
So the last one is pretty unrealistic.
In January I spoke of changing, and needing to change, but have I achieved true change? No. Did I change anything? Yes, I did, but for the worse.
*shakes head in shame*
In January I didn't want to speak aloud about my desire to lose weight, because I didn't want to pressure myself, but this year, this year I'm going to scream for the world to hear, so you can all shame me if I don't get off my ass and do something about it.
I think deep down my resistance to actually doing something about my weight is two things:
1. I'm lazy.
2. I'm afraid.
I've been pretty much fat all my life, so I'm not sure what kind of person lies behind the layers, and that scares me. There is also my fear of failure, which of course, is a failure in itself (try and you shall never fail, blah blah blah).
But who cares? So I'm lazy, who isn't? Losing weight doesn't happen over night, and everybody that has lost weight, has tried fucken hard to. I'm sure there are plenty of lazy people around that have seriously pushed themselves to meet this goal, so I really have no excuse. And fear, well fear can kiss my ass. I'm tired of being fat and afraid. I want to walk into a store and know that there are clothes I can fit. I want to be not so self-conscious. I want to be comfortable and happy with me. And at the moment, I'm just depressed.
So I'm gonna do it, this year is going to be my year. I don't care what my stupid lazy, afraid brain might think, it's time for my willpower to take over, because the path I'm following right now, is so not working for me.
So here I come weight loss, you better be fucken ready for me.
PS: Any tips? *cries*